Santa's Favorite Jokes.......

Santa loves a good joke.  He must -- he tells the same ones over and over
again, time after time!  Here are some of his favorites:

I just got back from my yearly flight around the world.  Boy, are my arms
tired!...After I left home, I wrote my mother that I'd grown another foot.
So she knit me another sock.

Let me tell you about the Ice Nymphs.  Once three nymphs were sleeping in
the same bed.  It was so crowded that one got out and slept on the floor.
After a while, one of the Nymphs said to the one on the floor, "You ought
to get back in the bed with us.  There's lots more room now!"... Once the
Nymphs were out playing football.  One of the players asked the coach to
flood the field so he could go in as a sub.

Then there are the elves.  One of the elves is great at magic.	He walked
around the corner and turned into an outhouse....One elf snored so loud he
woke himself up.  But then he solved the problem -- he started sleeping in
the next room....Everyone knows the elves are famous for the baths they take
each year.  But perhaps you don't know what the first elf in the tub is
called -- he's the ringleader.....We've got one elf who just hates to take
baths.	Once he got so dirty that when he finally took a bath he found some
underwear he thought he'd lost three years before.

With all my expertise over the years I've learned some interesting things.
For instance, if a bee and a doorbell get married, what kind of children
to you think they'll have?  Humdingers!....And I've learned why penguins
cross the road only halfway -- they like to lay it on the line.....I deliver
toys to a boy who parts his hair from ear to ear.  Its a real problem --
people keep whispering in his nose!

People always have questions about my reindeer.  For instance, they want
to know why reindeer wear bells.  I tell them it's because their horns
don't work.....Or they ask, "How much reindeer feed do you get for a
quarter?"  My answer: "None.  Quarters don't eat reindeer feed!"